Buffett to Build Theater in Branson

The moment that parrotheads have been dreading for years has finally come. In a stunning but not completely surprising move given his age, Jimmy Buffett is leaving the rigors of the road behind and will open a theater in Branson, Missouri, according to the Branson Tri-Lakes News:

Known for his Caribbean-flavored tunes about boat drinks and sailing ships, entertainer Jimmy Buffett will leave the road in 2014 and will take up residence in a new theater on 76 Country Boulevard. Buffett, who will turn 67 next Christmas, spoke of a desire to finally “stay in one place for more than a few days.”

“I’ve been on the road touring since 1970,” said Buffett. “After more than 40 years of doing this, it’s time to settle down.”

While many entertainers of his caliber have taken up shop in Las Vegas, Buffett felt Branson fit his laid-back persona better.

“I just love the small town charm and the easygoing, laid back attitude that you find in the Ozarks. Sure it comes from the average age of the patrons exceeding 70 instead of anything to do with the islands, but it’s the thought that counts,” Buffett explained.

Buffett’s new theater will be built adjacent to the Dick Clark’s American Bandstand Theater, across the street from Dolly Parton’s Dixie Stampede. Construction is slated to be complete in time for the Silver Dollar City Bluegrass & BBQ Festival, one of the town’s top tourist draws of the year.

Other acts that have had their own theaters in Branson include Andy Williams, Glen Campbell, Tony Orlando, Mickey Gilley, Mel Tillis, and Moe Bandy.

Update – April Fools’ 🙂