Lyrics

Spoken-
I was born on an island
The island of Manhattan
Dream’t all my life of a career on the Great White way
Producer Norman Paperman
Director Norman Paperman
And I made it!
In a sort of off-the-wall way
I found my calling, listen

Sung-
Up every morning, out every evening
Hustling for headlines, that’s what I do
Table at Sardi’s, grappling for gossip
Working the press for a mention or two

I never acted like some nervous rookie
Right from the start I was hot as a cookie
I was the numero uno, what a debut

Public Relations, Public Relations
Boozing and schmoozing, that’s what I do
PR’s my vocation, and I’m a sensation
Public relations, such hullabaloo

But I went full throttle
Never could slow down
Then out of nowhere a mild heart attack
Middle age crisis, face the big questions
Had to get off of this foolish fast track

It all started out as an ad in the paper
Now it’s turned into a tropical caper
But it’s only public relations
And that’s what I do

Public Relations, Public Relations
Ego inflation, that’s what I do
Isn’t it wonderful, isn’t it fabulous
Public Relations, such hullabaloo

Give this some thought Norman
Things can get sticky
Here in the tropics
Wine turns to glue

Norman I’ve never seen such a beautiful ocean
(Iris) Holy Sweet Jesus, he’s got no clue
Norman I’ll buy this place, I am expatriating
(Iris) You as a landlord
Sounds intoxicating
It’s only Public Relations
Who’s screwing who

No, not that old PR
Of yacking and quacking
Making folks happy
That’s what I’ll do

That’s what I yearn for
Like you, you, and you

Just give me some time
And I’ll make it come true!