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Roast #2 - pair8head (Don)

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Timmah

Post subject:

Posted: August 10th, 2005, 8:10 pm

Altered Boy

Joined: March 26th, 2004, 2:31 pm
Posts: 38953
No. Of Shows Attended: 8

jollymon345 wrote:

Timmy step away from the roast.

<img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_8_11.gif' alt='Comedian' border=0>

damn!!!! I just got the horseradish

Last edited by Timmah on August 11th, 2005, 5:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

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IsleReef

Post subject:

Posted: August 11th, 2005, 4:39 am

Splashing Naked In The Water

Joined: August 18th, 2004, 2:06 pm
Posts: 46460
Location: Sitting under a palm tree
No. Of Shows Attended: 14

Tim Tim Timmy Tim :clap:

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"........ And you'll never know if it was an accident or not."

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Frosted Fins

Post subject:

Posted: August 11th, 2005, 6:33 am

On A Salty Piece Of Land

Joined: August 6th, 2004, 12:20 pm
Posts: 4764
Location: Fuquay Varina, NC...Look it up!
No. Of Shows Attended: 11

Y'know Don's really a nice guy. He's "mature"...some people age like fine wine, Don aged like milk.

Connie said "let's go upstairs and make love," and Don said, "honey, I can't do both!"

Don's so old the only porn he brings home is "Debby Does Dialysis."

Don's idea of a change of scenery is looking to the left or right.

_________________

1more wrote:

I may have been drinking last night.

virgin prthd wrote:

ohhhhhh kind of like Bruce is a Fucktard? :lol:

"I don't see race. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because I have a lot of Jimmy Buffett albums"-Stephen Colbert

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Southern Monkey

Post subject:

Posted: August 11th, 2005, 6:36 am

Supreme Knower of all things Monkey

Joined: January 23rd, 2004, 10:23 am
Posts: 31740
Location: Charleston, SC
No. Of Shows Attended: 15

Frosted Fins wrote:

Don's so old the only porn he brings home is "Debby Does Dialysis."

OMG!!! CAN'T.....BREATHE..... ROTFFLMMFAO!!!! :clap:

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Southern Monkey

Post subject:

Posted: August 11th, 2005, 6:44 am

Supreme Knower of all things Monkey

Joined: January 23rd, 2004, 10:23 am
Posts: 31740
Location: Charleston, SC
No. Of Shows Attended: 15

Don is an assmaggot, cumsucker mother fucker!

There.. Now I'm in the right thread! :woohoo:

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brettsky

Post subject:

Posted: August 11th, 2005, 7:44 am

Will Play For Gumbo

Joined: March 31st, 2004, 1:46 pm
Posts: 13727

Don was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini -
"I want to feel your breasts" he exclaimed.
"Get away from me, you crazy man" she replied.

"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars," he says.
"Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!"

"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS" he stated.
"NO! Get away from me!"
"TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS" he offered.
She paused to think about it, but then comes to her senses and said, "I said NO!"

"FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS if you let me feel your breasts," Don claimed.
She thought, well he is old, and he seems harmless enough...and $500 IS a lot of money....
"Well, OK...but only for a minute."

She loosened her bikini top and while both are standing there on the beach, he slid his hands underneath and began to feel... then he started saying, "OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD..." while he was caressing them.

Out of curiosity, she asked him, "Why do you keep saying, 'Oh my god, oh my god'?"

While continuing to feel her breasts he answered, "OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD...
OH MY GOD, where am I ever going to get five hundred dollars?

:peace:

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<Brettsky

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Frosted Fins

Post subject:

Posted: August 11th, 2005, 8:10 am

On A Salty Piece Of Land

Joined: August 6th, 2004, 12:20 pm
Posts: 4764
Location: Fuquay Varina, NC...Look it up!
No. Of Shows Attended: 11

Don's parents worked hard, scrimped and saved to send him to college. As soon as he had enrolled, he started to grow a beard. He was pleased with his look and had his picture taken for his parents. He sent a note that said "How do you like it? Don't I look like a count?"

His parents wrote back... "You idiot, it cost us a fortune to send you to college, and you can't even spell!"

_________________

1more wrote:

I may have been drinking last night.

virgin prthd wrote:

ohhhhhh kind of like Bruce is a Fucktard? :lol:

"I don't see race. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because I have a lot of Jimmy Buffett albums"-Stephen Colbert

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Frosted Fins

Post subject:

Posted: August 11th, 2005, 8:39 am

On A Salty Piece Of Land

Joined: August 6th, 2004, 12:20 pm
Posts: 4764
Location: Fuquay Varina, NC...Look it up!
No. Of Shows Attended: 11

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

_________________

1more wrote:

I may have been drinking last night.

virgin prthd wrote:

ohhhhhh kind of like Bruce is a Fucktard? :lol:

"I don't see race. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because I have a lot of Jimmy Buffett albums"-Stephen Colbert

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Nautical Squealer

Post subject:

Posted: August 11th, 2005, 9:45 am

Wino You Know

Joined: March 25th, 2004, 1:13 pm
Posts: 5536
Location: 71

Don's so dumb he thought Moby Dick was a venereal disease.

_________________
One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor!

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Nautical Squealer

Post subject:

Posted: August 11th, 2005, 10:03 am

Wino You Know

Joined: March 25th, 2004, 1:13 pm
Posts: 5536
Location: 71

Don stole a police car once. He saw 911 on the back and thought it was a Porsche. :roll:

_________________
One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor!

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Frosted Fins

Post subject:

Posted: August 12th, 2005, 6:22 am

On A Salty Piece Of Land

Joined: August 6th, 2004, 12:20 pm
Posts: 4764
Location: Fuquay Varina, NC...Look it up!
No. Of Shows Attended: 11

If Don was any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

The only culture he has is bacteria!

_________________

1more wrote:

I may have been drinking last night.

virgin prthd wrote:

ohhhhhh kind of like Bruce is a Fucktard? :lol:

"I don't see race. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because I have a lot of Jimmy Buffett albums"-Stephen Colbert

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Timmah

Post subject:

Posted: August 12th, 2005, 6:52 am

Altered Boy

Joined: March 26th, 2004, 2:31 pm
Posts: 38953
No. Of Shows Attended: 8

Don has poor table manners

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Lester Polyester

Post subject:

Posted: August 12th, 2005, 6:54 am

God's Own Drunk

Joined: September 16th, 2004, 7:24 am
Posts: 30842
No. Of Shows Attended: 26

Don's so dumb he probably doesn't even understand any of these jokes

_________________

Timmah wrote:

Uranus

Lester Polyester wrote:

virgin prthd wrote:

NOT happening PIG! :whipit:

Here comes the hear attack and 2 strokes! :wave:

Something wrong with your ears? :hmm:

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Pair8head

Post subject:

Posted: August 12th, 2005, 7:56 am

El Presidente for Life

Joined: November 3rd, 2003, 9:33 am
Posts: 30489
Location: The Great NorthWET

Ok it's my turn.

First of all I want to thank you all for a really enjoyable week of reading.

But then again I also want to Bungie Jump from a 2 story building with a 3 story cord.

As I re-read the preceeding pages just now I was overcome with emotion, hate is an emotion right?

The very first thought that came to me when I was done re-reading them was "These are my friends"

My 2nd was "I gotta get me some new friends"

I am not going to single anyone out here for a thrashing as I really don't wanna waist any material for when it's your turn in the barrel.

So let me just leave you all with one further thought.

Josh and I were just the first two "honorees" and as this thing goes on from here I am quite sure it's gonna get worse for those who come later.

So, Who wants to be next, don't be shy, the first person to pm me will be next weeks victum.

_________________
Please Stand by for an important announcement..................
If you don't want to stand behind our Troops,
Please feel free to stand in front of them.
I met the Invisible Man and I can prove it.
I had my picture taken with him.........

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